Saturday, December 22, 2007

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

Obviously, some of you will understand this picture and some of you won't. If you want to know what this is in reference to, watch Arrested Development. Those of you who don't, its your loss....

Well, this is it. The final week of fantasy football season, and the penultimate column related to our battle royale for the championship. Let’s not waste any time with a rant this week and jump right into a breakdown of the match ups.


(1) TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN v. (2) LVL INFINITY +1 TEAM

It doesn’t really get better than number one versus number two. TRIPLE T’s PAINTRAIN enters the final round coming off of a dominating victory over VOLDEMORT. Steven Jackson and Adrian Peterson will be counted on to carry this team to victory, and last week they did just that, as two wide receivers came up well short of their projected fantasy points. One thing to look for in this match up is how much Wes Welker helps the + 1 Team, as he was traded by the PAINTRAIN straight up for Marvin Harrison. While Harrison has not worked out, it cleared space for the red hot Greg Jennings. The Tampa Bay Defense is a game time decision this week after putting up dominating numbers against a putrid Atlanta team. The PAINTRAIN has to be very careful in who it selects for both the starting defense and QB positions as it will need all the help it can get to pull out a win against the TOM BRADYS…er, The +1 TEAM. Proving that luck is better than skill, the +1 TEAM somehow managed to be beat the COWBOYS with a paltry 3 points from Brady. To put this in perspective, Brady’s worst performance of the season up until last week was 17 points. 17! That is better than what most QB’s get on a good day, and this was that man’s lowest point total. He had been averaging a whopping 26 points per week. Then he delivered 3 against the J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets! and the team with the weakest overall roster of the playoff teams, somehow managed to beat the vaunted COWBOYS. I look for Brady to bounce back in a big way against the Dolphins this week. Afterall, they still need to get him his passing TD record. However, the monster game from Brady will not be able to overcome the solid all around performance from TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN, and the fantasy championship, in a close call, will fall into the hands of the favorite.

(3) COWBOYS v. (4) VOLDEMORT

Granted, it may not have made a difference in the long run, but COWBOYS were hurt when Brian Westbrook took a knee at the goal line of the game last weekend. That was a sure 6 points left on the field. Demoralized by the loss of the points, this team crumbled last weekend. Luckily for Cowboys, this week they should be on the favorable side of a blowout. Edwards should be able to have a decent game against Cincy’s porous defense and I look for Andre Johnson to have a nice performance as well against a Colts defense that could be resting much of its players. VOLDEMORT has been in a legendary tailspin, and the season looks like it will end ugly. The Colts have clinched their playoff position and are known for tanking games at the end of the season. I’d look for Manning and Wayne to sit much of the second half against the Texans. Other than those two players, the only weapon VOLDEMORT has is Antonio Gates. He of the goose egg performance last week. It’s almost hard to imagine this team was in first place headed into the last week of the season. Good thing it can finish no worse than 4th, because right now who knows how low this team could’ve gone? My how the mighty have fallen. Simply put, if VOLDEMORT wins this match up it will either be an upset of stunning proportions, or a monumental choke job by COWBOYS. Your choice.


In the B.S. bracket we have a couple of surprise match ups.

(5) DUMMY TEAM 3 v. (7) BIG TUNA

The fact that BIG TUNA made it this far is quite the accomplishment for the rookie squad. Largely expected to be a cupcake opponent last week, this team overcame a sub par performance from Tony Romo and surprsised PINK PONIES. In this battle for 5th place though, I don’t expect lighting to strike twice. DUMMY TEAM 3 is an explosive team that lost its way in the final weeks. However, LaDanian Tomlinson has re-emerged as the top back in the league, and Saturday night against Dallas, Steve Smith suddenly remembered that he is supposed to be the best wide receiver in the game. BIG TUNA is hurt by the nature of the dummy team, as most owners would have benched this fallen star by now. However, in the most important game of the season, Smith has come up huge, contributing 19 points, or 10 more than what he was projected to achieve. After Tory Holt’s awful performance on Thursday night, for BIG TUNA to have any chance at all, it will need a monster performance from Marques Colston. It happened in the final game of the regular season. Will it happen again? I wouldn’t count on it.


(6) PINK PONIES v. (8) DUMMY TEAM 2

The fact that PINK PONIES was never amongst the top 4 teams in the league throughout the entire season is flat out baffling to me. They are the 3rd highest scoring team, yet constantly came up short in the clutch. However, this game should be a chance for PINK PONIES to let out all of its frustration. DUMMY TEAM 2 should not put up much of a fight and this should be a blood letting. Thankfully for PINK PONIES, the season ends this week as TO was injured during the game Saturday night and it is not known how long he will be out. Nevertheless Carson Palmer, Randy Moss, and the rest of this potential laden, yet underachieving team, should be enough to lead PINK PONIES to a disappointing 7th place finish.


Check back next week for an extensive review of the season...

Friday, December 14, 2007

PLAYOFFS! DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

First, the picture is Mark Mangino, coach of the Orange Bowl bound (hence the giant orange) Kansas football team. Insert your own politically incorrect comment here….Anyways, onto my weekly (or at least whenever I post) rant:

I love sports. I love football. I love winter football. And I love the Jaguars. This is the time of year when every game really means something. It’s great. Before I really got into football, Sundays used to be one of my least favorite days of the year; what with having Stone Jr. High School to look forward to the next day. But now, Sundays, especially winter Sundays, Jaguar Sundays, are the day I live for. You can have your Friday night parties, and your Saturday night bar hopping events (already had my fill of them). Give me Sundays and football instead. I had a conversation with a friend (no, not the person who runs the COWBOYS) a little while back, who couldn’t understand why I’d rather watch football instead of hang out. Sports can’t be that great can they? Um, yes they can. It is doubtful that people who don’t already believe this will ever be converted, and I say fine, fuck them. Unless you can love the game like I love it, love sports like I do, leave me alone on Sunday. You want me to hang out with you on a Sunday? Well then you better be dead. I’ll miss football games for your funeral. I’ll miss football games if you fly out here from across the country (though my focus might not always be on hanging out). I won’t miss them to go eat with friends. I won’t miss them to go shopping. I won’t miss them to go study. And I might not even miss them to go to Vegas. Oh, and a note to those of you who ever have a wedding on a Fall or Winter Sunday and expect my attendance: Statistics say that for at least a few of you, this won’t be your last wedding.

I’ll be there for the next one.

I promise.

Unless it’s on a Sunday.


On to the playoff preview:
This is it. This is what we’ve been playing the entire season for. These two weeks where the games mean the most. For some of you, you have nothing to play for at all, and I say see you next year. For others, all you have left to fight for is pride and a 5th place finish. And for the best of the best, it’s a bloody dogfight (whoops, can’t use that word—might end up with 23 months in prison)....it's a bloody battle for the championship. The top 4 teams in this league were so closely bunched that two one point matchups last weekend sent the standings into chaos. In the end, the grizzled veteran (me) ended up coming out on top, but in reality the playoff matchups were not altered at all. Let’s take a closer look:


(1)TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN v. (4) VOLDEMORT

This is a match up of two teams heading in the opposite direction. VOLDEMORT crushed the PAINTRAIN in the opening game of the season 102-80, and the victory propelled them to win 8 or their next 9 games. Every personnel decision seemed to pay off beautifully for this team early in the season. Sammy Morris was killing teams. He went down, and Fat Lendale White played like there were bugers and fries in every end zone around the league. Santana Moss struggles? That’s okay, Dwayne Bowe will just step in and become the best rookie WR in the league. VOLDEMORT was clearly the hottest team in the league at that point in time, that is until they ran into the PAINTRAIN for round 2. An ugly clash followed and at the end of the day, TRIPLE T emerged the victor 65-57 thanks to 6 Peyton Manning interceptions. The loss sent VOLDEMORT into a tailspin as they lost four of their next five, including three straight to end the season. The lone victory came over the hapless STEELERS OWN COWBOYS, and two of the losses were identical 106-82 beat downs by the two remaining playoff teams. In contrast, TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN enters the playoffs on a roll. After being beset by injuries and losing three of four games to start the season, the PAINTRAIN has ripped off 8 wins in its last 9 games. RB’s Adrian Peterson and Steven Jackson give the PAINTRAIN the most dangerous 1-2 combination in the league. A rotation of Drew Brees and Brett Favre at QB and a solid trio of WR’s make the PAINTRAIN very formidible. After being in first place for the majority of the season, can VOLDEMORT right the ship and pull off the upset? Don’t bet on it. The most dangerous playoff teams are the ones who enter with a head of steam, and right now the PAINTRAIN is speeding towards a championship.


(2) LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM v. (3) COWBOYS

Another match up of teams headed in the opposite directions. The +1 TEAM enters the playoffs having won four straight games, including one each over all of the other playoff teams. We could all say that the +1 TEAM has an amazing roster and that is the reason they are so strong, but that is just not the case. One thru nine this is a sold but not overwhelming roster, except for one player: Tom Brady. The guy is a monster and so long as he is playing, this team is never out of any game. And the scary thing for every other playoff team out there is Brady goes against the Jets this weekend and the winless Miami Dolphins next weekend. Yikes. The COWBOYS enter this match up having lost four of their last six and their hold on first place as well. This team should not be taken lightly however as they were far and away the leading scorers of the league. Only one team was within 100 points of their total (98 points behind), and they finished a whopping 185 points ahead of LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM this season. Those are downright dominating numbers. However, since their early season hot streak, the COWBOYS have been a very inconsistent team, both blowing out teams and getting blown out themselves. Which team will show up in the playoffs, and will it even matter with Brady playing? The answer is a simple no. The COWBOYS are the superior team, but Tom Brady trumps all of that. The Jets ratted out his team in week one of the season. The Patriots have been treating this whole year as one giant middle finger to the rest of the league and I fully expect them to destroy the Jets. Bill Belicheck has been trying to get Brady to set every record known to man. He is already on pace to break the most TD’s in a season. And the Patriots threw on 33 STRAIGHT plays last weekend. Yes, you read that right. However, one thing Brady has yet to do is set a single game record. Look for it this week: 600 yards, 7 TD’s.



CONSOLATION (BS) BRACKET:

No preview for Dummy Team 2 vs. Dummy Team 3, except to say that the upper echelon teams are damn lucky DT3 lost Ronnie Brown for the season at about the midway point. Brown was the top rated back when he went down, and he and LDT would have made life miserable for much of the league.

(6) PINK PONIES v. (7) BIG TUNA

PINK PONIES have been the most confusing team this season. I fully expected to see them in the top 4 at season’s end. Instead they became an afterthought. This team had both winning and losing streaks of four games. They also had the third highest point total of any team in the league. Part of the problem is this team’s fate is so tied into the performance of Wide Receivers. Granted, TO and Randy Moss are the two best receivers in the game, but the lack of consistent play from the RB spot has been costly (the LJ injury late in the year was not as devastating as I thought, thanks to his subpar season. Go back and look at what I wrote about him in the season preview. Psychic). Jamal Lewis has been coming on late though, so help may be on the way. If the inconsistent Carson Palmer regains his status as the 3rd best QB in the league, he, Moss and TO will provide PINK PONIES with enough fire power to crush teams on the way to 5th place (after all Moss will be catching all of those TD passes that Brady will be throwing). The troubling thing for PINK PONIES is that it runs against a team it has already lost to twice. BIG TUNA might be the only other team more inconsistent than PINK PONIES. It started the season 2-5, and closed it out 5-2. Tony Romo has unseated Palmer from the upper echelon of QB’s, RB ADDAI has emerged as quite the dual-threat out of the backfield, and WR Colston’s return to form coincides with BIG TUNA’S recent good fortunes. In fact, the Colston story is truly remarkable, and this former 7th round pick scored just enough points (21) to shake up the entire league last weekend. Yet despite everything in BIG TUNA’s favor, including the past two wins in this match up, I think this is the weekend that PINK PONIES gets its revenge. RB Selvin Young already struggled against Houston for BIG TUNA, and unless points can be made up elsewhere, things don’t look so great. It’ll be close, but in the end PINK PONIES should be playing for that oh so valuable 5th place finish next week, while BIG TUNA can only hope to beat DUMMY TEAM 2 and retain its 7th place ranking. Injuries undid both teams, and hopefully we can expect better luck, and stronger performances from these two players next season.


Finally, I did not want to write predictions for next week’s potential match ups because I’ve got to keep you coming back for more….

Friday, November 23, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Okay, I've been on many of you to watch the show Friday Night Lights. So far, I believe none of you are convinced. Well, the picture to the left is Minka Kelly, who plays Lyla Garrity, head cheerleader for the Dillon Panthers. Very hot. The show would still be great without her, and is critically acclaimed in its own right (I have not read one review by any TV critic that did not love the first season), but c'mon, she's good to look at and has some really genuine, heartfelt, moments in the show. The Season 1 DVD was priced at 20 bucks to try and lure in new viewers for this season. If that's not enough, NBC is offering a money back gaurantee if you don't like it. So go watch Season 1 (I'm not entirely sold on season 2 yet), and thank me later.
Now on to the fantasy football stuff:
First, Happy Thanksgiving. With three weeks left (including this one) before the playoffs, let’s take a look at where the teams stand:

VOLDEMORT has a tenuous grasp on first place, but if things fall the right way this weekend, this team could end up with a two game lead with two weeks left. COWBOYS own the tiebreaker though thanks to a massive lead in points, so VOLDEMORT should not feel too comfortable in first place. Not that playoff positioning matters all that much, as any of the top 5 teams could be formidable opponents. VOLDEMORT has clinched a playoff birth and should just hope that all of its players remain healthy.

The COWBOYS, with their massive point lead, are in good position to make the playoffs but are already trailing by 54 points through the Thursday games. Built around a strong stable of receivers and dynamic running back Brian Westbrook, this team can explode at any moment. Andre Johnson had been injured most of the year, but his first game back he caught a 73 yard pass for a TD. Braylon Edwards has been the surprise WR of the season, and though Burress has been slowed as of late due to an injured ankle, the potential is clearly there. As strong as this team is though, a loss this week and a loss next week would be absolutely devastating to this team’s chances.


TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN suffered a crushing blow to its playoff chances with the injury to Adrian Peterson and the loss to the INFITINTY + 1 TEAM last week. They gambled on Drew Brees to fill the QB spot, and he delivered with a disappointing 9 points. Lessons were learned however and Brett Favre is back in the starting lineup and delivered a magnificent game this week. The return of SJAX makes up for the loss of Peterson’s explosive ability with consistent production. The RB’s on this team will be fine, and if Peterson comes back, a platoon of MJD, SJAX, and Peterson would be scary for opposing teams in the playoffs. The trading of Welker for Marvin Harrison was a calculated risk and one that has paid off, but not in the expected way. Harrison has yet to play a game, but Greg Jennings has stepped up and played even better than Welker has. Its doubtful Jennings would have even seen the lineup, otherwise. Still though, the Welker trade could hurt if it helps the INFINITY + 1 TEAM in the playoffs.


Tom Brady has put LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM on his back, and how he goes, so goes the team. The running backs are hit or miss, as are the Wide Receivers, but as long as this team has Brady they are perhaps the most dangerous team around. The big worry for this team has to be what Patriots will do with Brady down the stretch. If the Pats sit Brady because they no longer have a chance at an undefeated season, suddenly, this team loses its explosiveness.

DUMMY TEAM 3 and BIG TUNA are facing off in a huge matchup this weekend. A win for BIGTUNA means they’ll only be a game (or 2 in the worst case scenario) out with two games left. However, a loss will all but eliminate them from the playoffs. Conversely, DUMMY TEAM 3 trails the INFINITY + 1 TEAM by a mere 3 points. A big scoring day with a win would likely mean DUMMY TEAM 3 would move into the 4th playoff spot for the time being. However, a loss might not be the end of the world either as DT3 gets RILEY’S RAIDERS next week for what looks to be a win. Both of these teams are built around stars that play on inconsistent offenses and if nothing else, they could be major spoilers down the road.

PINK PONIES has clearly caught a string of bad luck these past few weeks. It seems that every time this team turns in a stellar performance, the opposing team happens to be just slightly better. Everything would have to break exactly right for this team to even have a chance to make the playoffs, which is really fortunate for the top teams in the league because PINK PONIES is an opponent that must absolutely be feared. Only one team has scored more points, and the Palmer, Moss, T.O. combo has turned into something special. Roddy White all of a sudden has become a player as well, as has sleeper TE Donald Lee. Where this team was hurt however, was the loss of LJ and Lynch and the running back position. Anytime you have to start Cedrick Benson, things are not looking up for you (see the real life Chicago Bears).


STEELERS OWN COWBOYS is still the surprise team in the league even if it doesn’t win another game. They are a dangerous team as well, as so much of their success is tied into the success of the real life Steelers. If that team goes off, then so does this one. Anyone playing them in the coming weeks should be mindful of the Steelers opponents and hope they catch a break. Otherwise, it could be a long long day.


RILEY’S RAIDERS is in a tough position. I can’t shake the feeling that clearly the owner at least has a good idea on how to run a team, its just that a shaky draft is holding it back. The Derek Anderson signing was by far the FA pickup of the season as Anderson will likely finish with more fantasy points that Manning himself. So long as its not against me, I am still holding out hope that this team can pull out a win somewhere along the way.


Before we go, I'd like to plug Friday Night Lights again. I would watch this show regardless of how good looking the females in the show are (and there are more than just her). Its a great, great show about a coach, his family, and his football team. Its more a show about life than about football, but it is one of the most genuine shows (outside of a couple ridiculous football endings) that you'll find on tv. I can't stress this enough: GO BUY THE DVD'S. WATCH THIS SHOW. And now, a couple more pics for your viewing pleasure.




Sunday, November 4, 2007

WAX ON. WAX OFF.

Well we have reached the virtual halfway point of this season, so its time for another review. In honor of the latest rumors of a Karate Kid remake (something I vehemently oppose) below are some quotes from the 1984 classic to go with your teams. Can anyone believe that most of us were two or three years old when this movie was released? How is it that I watched it so many times then? I mean, I have no older siblings so did my parents show me this movie the first time? Also, Ralph Maccio was like 22 years old when he first played Daniel-San and in his late 20’s when he finally shot Karate Kid 3. Could he really pass for a 17 year old kid then? And was he really ‘The Best Around’? Could nothing really ever keep him down? I guess he was, since rich "Allie with an 'i'" (Elizabeth Shue) went after him. And why were there always so many people at the 18 and under “All-Valley” Karate tournament? Wouldn’t those things tend to just draw parents and maybe a few friends of the fighters if they were lucky? I guess we should never underestimate the tremendous drawing power of the Cobra-Kai. Take a close look at that picture: "Music by Bill Conti"--The same guy who wrote the Rocky Music. Instant credibility to go along with an emotionally uplifting soundtracking. I love this movie, in case you couldn't already tell. Anyways, here are your quotes and rankings:


Kreese: What do we study here? Karate Class: THE WAY OF THE FIST SIR. Kreese: And what is that way? Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR. Kreese: I can't hear you. Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR

Goes to the COWBOYS. The Cowboys got off to a hot start this year and haven’t looked back. They struck first, and they struck hard taking out DUMMY TEAM 3, DUMMY TEAM 2, and TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN in the first three weeks of the season. No mercy? Well that will be seen in the coming weeks. Will this team allow other teams back into the race? Pivotal rematches are looming large.



Kreese: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it? Karate Class: NO, SENSEI! Kreese: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it? Karate Class: NO, SENSEI! Kreese: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it? Karate Class: NO, SENSEI!

Goes to VOLDEMORT, because ever since an early season loss to the INFINITY + 1 TEAM, defeat has not existed for VOLDEMORT either. Looking at the roster, I am not quite sure how the victories continue to pile up, but they do. This seems like a good place to point out that Chuck Norris was originally offered the role of Kreese, but turned it down because he did not want to portray Karate instructors in a bad light. How hilarious would he have been in that role?



[just before Johnny fights Daniel in the tournament] Kreese: Sweep the leg. [Johnny stares at him in shock] Kreese: Do you have a problem with that? Johnny Lawrence: No, Sensei. Kreese: No mercy.


Goes to LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM because I can just picture the owner of this team saying this for some reason. As a side note, you’ve got to love Billy Zabka playing Johnny as the quintessential ‘80’s bad guy. It doesn’t get any better than that. By the way, you can have your “wax on, wax off” line. Give me “Sweep the leg” and the chilling moment that follows it any day of the week.



Kreese: Bobby - I want him out of commission. Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy! Kreese: I don't want him beaten. Bobby: But I'll be disqualified! Kreese: [icily] Out of commission


Goes to TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN. Injuries nearly took this team out early. Bulger went down. Steven Jackson went down. Lee Evans was nonexistent. And then just when it looked like the season was turning around, newly acquired Marvin Harrison is a game time decision, and SJax comes back to score a touchdown on his first possession and then leave the game due to a back injury. Can this team come back like Daniel-san and crane kick its opponents in the face? We’ll soon find out.


Daniel: [after seeing Miyagi practice the crane technique] Could you teach me? Miyagi: First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule, Daniel-san, not mine.

Goes to BIGTUNA who I am trying to guide through the season. I can’t teach you how to win (obviously I am having enough trouble securing my own wins these days) but I can try and suggest injury and bye week replacements for you. Of course this analogy makes me Mr. Miyagi. I guess I could live with that. By the way, how great is it that Miyagi does not come out as a spelling error on Microsoft Word? Is he that engrained as a cultural icon? If not, he deserves to be.


Tommy: Yeah! Get him a body bag!

Goes to Dummy Team 2 whose QB is Vince Young, he of the 42 yard passing game last week (and 43 fantasy points all season). The Madden Curse strikes again.


Ring Announcer: Daniel LaRusso’s gonna fight!? Daniel LaRusso’s going to fight!

Goes to STEELERS OWN COWBOYS. I thought this team would win one, maybe two games all year. They already have passed that mark. Who doesn’t love this dramatic moment at the end of this movie? It’s right up there with the ending when Daniel goes into his crane stance, the music crescendos, Kreese yells out to Johnny to “Finish him!”, Miyagi gives that little nod of the head, and then bang! It’s all over, Johnny’s down on the mat and everyone is going crazy. And the ultra classy villain presents the trophy to Daniel. "You're alright LaRusso!" Did I mention I love this movie? Can a movie end any better than that? On another note, who else is tired of all my rhetorical questions?



Miyagi: Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?

Goes to Pink Ponies who has yet to find any semblance of consistency this year. Twice this team has had huge games, only to be beaten by a team that was the high scorer of that week. Despite the 2-6 record, Pink Ponies almost has as many points as the 3rd place team, and has a higher point total than the two teams immediately above it. One thing is for certain. This is a dangerous team and could play the role of spoiler down the stretch.


Daniel: Wouldn't a fly swatter be easier? Miyagi: Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything. Daniel: Ever catch one? Miyagi: Not yet.

Goes to the winless RILEY’S RAIDERS. If this team can ‘catch’ a win with that roster, then truly anything is possible. So long as its not against me, I’m certainly rooting to seen an upset win for this team somewhere down the stretch. One more fun fact before I leave: Pat Morita who plays Mr. Miyagi was nominated for an Oscar for his work in this classic movie.


Good Luck to all this week.

I leave you with some links to this classic, including one that will at least clue you in as to why I used some oddly framed language in the opening paragraph:

Best Around Montage


The Final Fight Scene--Also the "Sweep the leg" and "Get him a body bag" scenes are in this clip. Take a look at that huge crowd. "Hey Mr. Miyagi! We Did it! Alright!"

Sunday, October 21, 2007

FANTASY FOOTBALL AND FOOTBALL MOVIES

I’m Back. Apologies for the long delays. But here it is on a Saturday night, the night before my birthday and how do I spend it? Writing a fantasy post for all of you, of course. Since its been so long since my last post, I wanted to try and do something a little different this time around. I’ve always been a sucker for sports movies, and in the spirit of that, I have decided to compare each of your teams to some of my favorite (or least favorite) football movies. So, in no particular order, here we go (Disclaimer: I'm sleepy, so there are likely more grammer errors than usual)….


LVL INFINTIY + 1 TEAM is Remember the Titans
Tag Line: They came together when their classmates would not

A solid all around Disney movie that everyone can love. It had its shares of ups and downs, but featured a charismatic star (Denzel Washington) and some up and coming performers. Of all the teams at the top of the leader board, +1 Team is surely the most unexpected, yet is one people can root for because of that. Disregarding positions for the moment, Tom Brady is the charismatic star on the team, with Marvin Harrison playing the Will Patton role. Much like Harrison, everyone always forgets how steady Patton is in movies and on TV. He just solidly turns in quiet performances and always brings something to the table. Brandon Marshall plays the role of Donald Faison (of Scrubs fame, and Petey in this movie) and Dallas Clark can be Kip Pardue (Sunshine). Too bad there is no Hayden Panettiere (the grown up version of course) or Kate Bosworth on this team. “You make them remember forever, the night they played the titans!”










PINK PONIES is Jerry Maguire
Tag Line: Show Me the Money!

Good sports movie, or the best chick flick of all time? The debate rages on (I need a ruling from a movie judge, I don’t even think Simmons (maybe the greatest sports/pop culture writer ever) has been able to figure this out). Much the same way, it is still unclear whether PINK PONIES is a solid contending team, or just a very good mediocre one. Between TO and Randy Moss, there is more than just a little bit of Rod Tidwell on this team. “I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!” Sorry, I couldn’t resist throwing in that line.




RILEY’S RAIDERS is Rudy
Tagline: Sometimes a winner is just a dreamer who won’t quit.

The hard luck team of this league. It came oh so close to pulling out a victory two weeks ago against TRIPLE T’s PAINTRAIN yet could only manage a tie. Still, just like Rudy, the team hasn’t given up and has continued to make roster moves in an attempt to better the team. Rudy (Samwise Gamgee) fulfilled his dream by the end of the season, will RILEY’S RAIDERS get their win before the season is over? Stay Tuned to find out. Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!










VOLDEMORT is Friday Night Lights
Tagline: One Town. One Team. One Dream

One of the greatest movies sports or otherwise, ever made. The football scenes were extremely well done; there was a touching father-son story arc, plenty of goose-bump inducing moments, a guy named Boobie, a brilliant ending, and an absolutely perfect soundtrack featuring the band Explosions in the Sky. This is the definitive football movie in my opinion. VOLDEMORT might not quite live up to that, but the team is smoking hot right now having won three in a row and giving COWBOYS their only loss. But think about it, the Permian Panthers looked good going into the season but then lost Boobie Miles, the same way that VOLDEMORT lost the Deuce. Peyton Manning does a perfect Mike Winchell imitation (or is it the other way around?) and even the owner of VOLDEMORT could likely pull off a Billy Bob Thorton southern accent. Fat LenDale White would make a perfect drunk Billingsley, and Fast Willie Parker would make a good Chris Comer. Too bad there is no place for Ivory Christian or Chavez on this team. As much as I liked this move, I might like the first season of the show even more. Same great story, shot in present day, better looking girls, better tagline (clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose) and possibly even a better coach. You can’t go wrong, but “Can you be perfect?”









COWBOYS is The Program
Tagline: Pressure surrounds them. Competition divides them. Talent unites them.

The program might’ve been the best football movie I saw until I watched Friday Night Lights, just like the COWBOYS were the best team until they got knocked off by VOLDEMORT. McNabb enters the year with a bunch of hype, just like Joe Kane only both have failed to deliver on that promise. Kane disappeared into rehab and McNabb just disappeared. Westbrook makes a good Omar Epps/Darnell Jefferson with his return ability, and skills to catch the ball coming out of the backfield. There was also some controversy about the movie and laying down on a busy street, just like there is some controversy about the trade that this team just pulled off with PINK PONIES. On a related note, how devastating of an injury was that to Alvin Mack? How good would he have been in the pros? First round pick? I’d say definitely. Top 10? Maybe. See, that’s the danger of staying in school when you play football. You might as well come out early. There are very valuable lessons to be learned from this movie. Well that, and don’t lie down in a busy road and expect good things to happen. “Let’s open up a can of kick ass on ‘em and let the paramedics sort ‘em out”….Bonus quote: “Let’s put the women and children to bed and go looking for dinner.”








BIG TUNA is The Replacements

Everything about this team screams Replacements. The title alone makes sense. BIG TUNA did not draft its own team, and only makes roster moves on a custodial level. I also like the idea of Tony Romo, being compared to Shane “Footsteps” Falco. We’ve got Todd Heap as the deaf tight end with great hands. Joseph Addai and Travis Henry can team up and be equivalent to the religious running back who gets hurt scoring a TD (Addai) and the convict who takes his place (Henry). Jeff Wilkins is the Irish Kicker, and WR Colsten is definitely the Orlando Jones character with speed but a case of the drops. I also could imagine Lights Out Merriman (of San Diego’s defense) playing the role of the crazy linebacker. By the way, I loved John Madden’s cameo appearance here where he was pseudo analyzing Falco’s attempt to hook-up with the cheerleader. Every time I hear “Falco scores!” coming out of Madden’s mouth, I can’t help but laugh. There are a host of funny quotes from this movie, including “Nan desu ka!”; “I’ve seen monkey shit fights at the zoo that are better organized than this”; “That’ll do pig, that’ll do.”
But I’ll leave you with this: "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory….lasts forever”











STEELERS OWN COWBOYS is Little Giants
Tagline: Just Remember that football is 80% physical and 40% mental.

Just looking at the team STEELERS OWN COWBOYS has constructed it is easy to see why….okay, what the hell, I clearly have no analysis for this. I just couldn’t help myself.





















TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN is Any Given Sunday.
Tagline: Life is a contact sport

Potential. This movie oozed with potential. Al Pacino. Cameron Diaz. Jamie Foxx. Dennis Quaid. James Woods. LL Cool J. Aaron Eckhart. Jim Brown. The venerable Lawrence Taylor. Bill Belamy….okay, nevermind that one. Still though, all of that acting talent and Oliver Stone directing as well, yet this movie turned out to be pretty disappointing except for a few scenes. You have to wonder if that is how the season will play out for TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN. This team was loaded with talent coming into the season (Bulger, SJAX, MJD, Ocho Cinco) but injuries took a major toll. I don’t know what was more jarring, losing Steven Jackson to injury (my whole team was built around him) or seeing the guy losing an eyeball during a game in the movie. I just hope I have more good games that equate to scenes like the final game or the LT sawing LL Cool J’s SUV in half, and less bad ones like that horrible locker room scene (and I’ll just leave it at that). Despite the overall lethargic feel to the movie for the first 2 hours or so, the last game really redeems much of the movie, including the final speech. Will I have a redeeming moment like that before the season is over? I can only hope. So I leave you with this (in my mind this is the best movie speech before the big game of the season, ever):

(remember, you have to read this in Al Pacino’s voice):
I don’t know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time. Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?



If you liked the speech, you can watch it here: Best Speech Ever

Thursday, October 4, 2007

A REVIEW AT THE QUARTER MARK....

Well, we’re at the one quarter mark, let’s take a look at the season so far:


Best Team(s):

A week ago, this would’ve been a runaway for COWBOYS, but VOLDEMORT’s miraculous win on Sunday night makes these two teams even for the year. Yahoo might have COWBOYS ranked at the top, and when all is said and done they might be right, but I think for now the victory by VOLDEMORT in the head to head matchup negates the sizeable point advantage COWBOYS have for the season. That’s not to say either team has nothing but smooth sailing in front them. COWBOYS have to be worried about the dreadful performance McNabb put up last Sunday night. If you remove the ridiculous 29 point performance against Detroit in week 3, McNabb has averaged less than 10 points per game. Additionally, Westbrook has once again become an injury concern for fantasy owners everywhere. His injury ended up costing the COWBOYS their undefeated season. One has to wonder what else it may cost them down the road. On the bright side though, the depth at RB has already started to payoff as Peterson netted them a top 15 WR, and the COWBOYS have some depth (however inconsistent it may be) behind Westbrook. This team should stay in contention all year, but if the QB situation does not turn around, they may not remain in the top spot forever.

VOLDEMORT has done it with smoke and mirrors at the WR and RB2 positions. The injury to Deuce might end up being a blessing in disguise as it led to the inspired pickups of Sammy Morris and LenDale White. Both backs should continue to see their roles grow throughout the season. With Calvin Johnson’s nagging injury VOLDEMORT’s WR corps is thin, but if Bowe can continue his hot streak, then they will certainly look more imposing down the stretch. Gates, Manning and Parker should continue to be stalwarts at their respective positions, and the injury to Marvin Harrison could boost Reggie Wayne’s value considerably. If the person running VOLDEMORT can pick the correct matchups for his players throughout the season, this team will be alright.


Most Disappointing Team:

This one is easy. TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN has been racked with injuries and is nowhere near where it should be. This team’s top pick suffered a groin tear and when he finally returns will be playing behind a non-existent offensive line. The 2nd round pick has been a bust all season with 2 fumbles near the goal line. The 4th Round pick has played in 4 games yet has not even cracked 10 points on the season. And the 5th round pick actually scored negative two points in week 3. Certainly not the best way to start a season. However, I have been down this road before, and thought the hole is deep, it is not impossible to climb out of. I’ve been making roster moves fast and furious in effort to overhaul the roster. My 2nd best WR was traded to COWBOYS for red-hot rookie Adrian Peterson. With the return of Chester Taylor, his value might drop a little bit, but let’s face it, he is the Vikings offense. Some people project him as a top 5 RB by the time the season is done, and I am gambling that he at least will finish in the top 10. My 3rd string RB (who just happened to be my most consisted one) was moved for Favre and Witten. Favre is approaching top 5 QB status and Witten is already a top 4 TE. This will upgrade both positions on my team considerably. Hopefully this is the week that MJD returns to form, and in two weeks we could see the return of Steven Jackson. Peterson will be insurance in the event that one of those two don’t happen, and the bevy of WR changes I’ve made will hopefully allow me to play the best matchup each week alongside stud Chad Johnson. As bad as this season has been for me, I’m only two games out. This week will likely be pretty awful, but after that the season should start to turn around for me. It can only get better, right? Um, well, at least one can hope.


Surprise Team:

This is also an easy choice. STEELERS OWN COWBOYS was ridiculed by the idiot who wrote the preseason predictions. So much for that. This team is a Tom Brady game away from being 3-1. I’m still a bit baffled as to how its been done as there is only one team with a lower number of total points scored. There is also no team more tied to the success of a real NFL team than this one. If the Steelers take a nose-dive later in the year, or when they have a bye week, things could get ugly. Still, with the injury to Deuce, Reggie Bush could see an increased number of touches and experience an overall increase in fantasy production. This only makes STEELERS OWN COWBOYS that much more dangerous going forward.


The “Wait, how did that happen?” Team:

RILEY’S RAIDERS are 0-4, so one would expect them to have a weak roster, or one struggling with injuries right? Well, not exactly. The team features players with sold point totals all around. The problem is getting consistent performances from them each week. Marion Barber and the rejuvenated LaMont Jordan are a monster running back tandem. Through 4 weeks, both are in the top 5 in fantasy points for running backs. No one could’ve expected that, and no one probably had any inkling of that fact until they read it just now. The WR’s have been serviceable, and the defense will always contribute. The K has become one of the hottest free agent pickups this year as Dallas is all of a sudden an offensive juggernaut. The only thing keeping this team from being a legitimate contender week in and week out is the absolutely dismal play coming from their QB position. If Drew Brees ever figures it out, this team will win more than just a few games. The backup QB’s are solid, and Anderson has been a Cinderella story, but is an impossible play this week against NE. Still though, even plugging the brother of Payton in this week, should be enough for this team to get its first win of the season. That’s right, I am predicting a win this week for RILEY’S RAIDERS.


The BOOM or BUST Team(s):

This one goes to BIG TUNA and PINK PONIES. One week these teams are racking up fairly big point totals and the next, they are no where to be found. A lot, if not all, of BIG TUNA’s success stems from Tony Romo and Joseph Addai. These two put up huge numbers week in and week out. Travis Henry struggled two weeks ago against the Jags, but last week put up good numbers against a decent Colts defense. If he stays on this pace, this team will be dangerous. However, it’s the WR that will either cause BIG TUNA to stay on this up and down track, or truly rise to the level of a contender. These receivers were touted as the best receiving group that any team had at the start of the year. ESPN.com and every fantasy magazine around had Holt and Colston as bona fide number 1 receivers and had Walker just outside of that group. Now it seems as if Walker may be injured and Holt and Colston, who once played for prolific offenses, can barely even get the ball this season. If this group can get it together, BIG TUNA will be sitting pretty in the playoffs. BREAKING NEWS: TRAVIS HENRY MAY BE SUSPENDED FOR THE YEAR. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

In contrast, it is PINK PONIES WR’s that have been carrying the team. I derided the choice of Randy Moss when the year started and man, was I ever wrong. Moss is far and away the best receiver right now, and it’s not even close. With 7 TD’s in 4 games, he is on a ridiculous pace and we may even see some records broken. And with the Patriots offense as hot as it is, there is no signs that he will be slowing down anytime soon. Carson Palmer is a top 3 QB, and Shockey is a probable top 5 TE. The K and Defense are solid, so that only leaves the question marks at RB. Larry Johnson showed signs of life last week against the Chargers. He has a tough matchup this week against the Jags, but after that, we could see some big games from him. All Pink Ponies can ask for is this continued steady production from Jamal Lewis. A return to form from LJ and a consistent Lewis will make for a team with tantalizing upside come playoff time. I think when this season is over; PINK PONIES will finish slightly ahead of BIG TUNA, due in large part to only counting on the return to form of one premier player, instead of 3.

Teams that are lurking:

DUMMY TEAM 3 and LVL INFINTINY + 1 TEAM. Quietly, Dummy Team 3 has put up the second highest point total in the league. Ronnie Brown is the top rated back, and LDT should be there by the end of the season. The QB play is strong, but the receivers have cost this team one game.

LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM is currently on a two game winning streak that no one really saw coming. The team was largely untouted coming out of the draft, but is now favored by Yahoo to take down the top team in this league by a point. LVL INFINTIY + 1 TEAM’s success can largely be attributed to the active involvement of its owner. The Trade for James will bolster the backfield as Maroney has not lived up to the hype and Jacobs has been out. Dallas Clark will continue to put up big numbers from the TE position and it looks like Tom Brady is on a record breaking pace. Additionally, the free agent pick up of Brandon Marshall has paid off in a huge way. If you go to sleep on this team, it will surely bite you in the ass.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

HIGHS AND LOWS

Let’s get right to it…

For those of you confused by the picture, this is former Cowboy Nate Newton (two big wins for the cowboys, fantasy and NFL, so what better picture to use than a renowned Cowboy known for his own "highs" and lows?) From Wikipedia: On November 4, 2001 police in St. Martin Parish, Louisiana, found 213 lb of marijuana in Newton's white van. Five weeks later, he was caught with 175 lb of marijuana on Interstate 45. He was sentenced to 30 months in prison.)

Highs:

First, let’s give credit where credit is due. COWBOYS has established itself as the early front runner this season. I would be remiss if I did not point out that two of his players contributed a disproportionate amount of his team’s points, but that is the nature of fantasy. Even if you take out the performances of Westbrook and McNabb, Cowboys still would’ve beat a very shaky TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN. McNabb and Westbrook have been inconsistent throughout the year, but if they can consistently put up even half of what they did this week, no team will want to face the COWBOYS. I caution getting too high on either the injury prone Westbrook or McNabb, but maybe this will be the year they finally finish a full season. Additionally, COWBOYS have knocked off two of the more highly ranked teams this season after this week’s win. Next up is another tough opponent as VOLDEMORT will be looking to bounce back.


LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM looks like it will finally get a win this week. This team has been by far the most active on the free agent market and it looks like it will finally pay off. The Jags defense dominated the entire Broncos team this week with the exception of one Brandon Marshall, a player that LVL INFINITY picked up off the wire 3 days ago. Marshall’s production may very well be the difference between victory and defeat. TE Jason Witten also helped make up for the lack of production that LVL INFINITY got from WR Marvin Harrison, Warrick Dunn, and the Minnesota defense. VOLDEMORT still has the Deuce going on Monday Night, but unless he can run for 100 yards and a TD, this one is over.


DUMMY TEAM 3 got HUGE production from its ‘other’ players this week. If you would’ve told me that LDT and Steve Smith would combine for 16 points and DUMMY TEAM 3 would still score more than 140 points I would’ve thought you were on drugs…or that I was. At least one team held up their end of the high scoring match-up were will all looking forward to.


RILEY’S RAIDERS is giving DUMMY TEAM 02 one hell of a fight. Down by a point with TE uber sleeper Bo Scaife still to play, things would seem to look good. The trouble here is that DUMMY TEAM 02 is starting Vince Young. For RILEY’S RAIDERS to pull off the upset, Young will either have to throw exclusively to Scaife (and take advantage of the ratio of passing yards v. receiving yards and passing TD’s v. receiving TDs), or have Young throw a lot of picks, or fumble quite a few times. I’m sure we are all rooting for this, but it does not look promising. Still though, this is a much closer matchup then anyone initially thought. Marion Barber and Lamont Jordan were two outstanding finds in the draft. But, at the end of the day RILEY’S RAIDERS does lose by a point or two, it will likely be supremely frustrating. There are no moral victories in fantasy.


PINK PONIES are just taking care of business, it’s as simple as that. Granted, Reggie Bush will be running on Monday Night, but the Saints offense has been garbage this year and Bush has been a bust. PINK PONIES looks like a genius for drafting Randy Moss. He has been nothing short of outstanding this year.




Lows:

TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN tops this list. MJD continues to be a complete and total bust. QB Bulger actually accumulated NEGATIVE points and Steven Jackson has yet to find the end zone this season. Only 2 players on the team played up to their projected values. You can’t get victories like that in fantasy, especially not against a team that had two players put up 80 points in one half of football. Jackson and Bulger cannot succeed behind that injury depleted O-line in Saint Louis and the MJD could be a total bust. That means 3 of the teams first 5 picks could be garbage. What a disaster for this once vaunted team. The owner will have to dig deep within himself and try to salvage the season. If the PAINTRAIN does make the playoffs it will be a force to be reckoned with, rest assured. However, the playoffs are a long ways away at this point in time. Things don’t get any easier next week against BIG TUNA. The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that the Jags won.

VOLDEMORT’s undefeated season is riding on a big performance from the Deuce; that is certainly not a place I’d want to be (actually, that’s a better place than getting blown out by 50 something points). The team was betrayed by mediocre performances from Calvin Johnson, Bernard Berrian, and Reggie Wayne. Had these players performed even close to their projected values, this one would be a lot closer. Still, even if VOLDEMORT loses, it will have to try and rebound next week against the sole undefeated team.


BIG TUNA got bombed by DUMMY TEAM 3. At one point in time this team was down 101 points. Stellar performances from Addai and Romo kept this one from staying that bad, but this was about as ugly as it gets. And to think, had Steve Smith done anything at all, it could’ve been much worse. For BIG TUNA, this has to be one of those games that you just chalk up to being a fluke, and immediately put it behind you. After all, that is what happens in fantasy from time to time.

DUMMY TEAM 02 should not have been challenged in this game. I can’t wait to see how this will play out on Monday Night

STEELERS OWN COWBOYS gave it a valiant effort. This one was close all the way through the late games before PINK PONIES pulled away in the end. If Hines Ward gave this team something, anything, PINK PONIES would have every reason to be absolutely scared of suffering a loss. As it is, Reggie Bush will have to play out of his mind for STEELERS OWN COWBOYS to pull this one out. It will be a fun game to watch tomorrow.


(The hilarious Nate Newton picture is courtesy of CNNSI.com)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Packers, Cowboys and 49ers are all 2-0 and O.J. is headed to jail…did I wake up in 1994?

That’s a great line and I surely wish I thought of it myself, but alas, I cannot take the credit for it. You’ve got to love the Juice….well, except for the fact that he murdered two people. I only have one request: Bring back my claim to fame. Bring back Lance! Yeah, that’s just what I need as I finish out my law school career. Alright, enough with the nonsense.



Ladies and Gentleman, your Super Bowl XLII Matchup: Detroit Lions v. Houston Texans

Ah, the danger of jumping to conclusions after 2 weeks of football. You’ve got to love all the chest banging going on this time of year over where certain teams are ranked on the various power polls scattered throughout the internet. Texans fans, you better save a copy of those polls that have you ranked in the top 10, you won’t be there that much longer. But this is what happens when teams like the Lions and Texans start 2-0.

Anyways, the point of all this is, if we are to make conclusions after two weeks of football, then we are wasting our time. This applies to Fantasy as well. The COWBOYS have been touting their position “atop” the leader board for this past week. I certainly respect what the team has done, but not anymore so than the performance of VOLDEMORT who is also 2-0. However, if I was a betting man (and oh, what a coincidence, I am) I certainly would not bet the house that these two teams will face off in the finals. NFL players are still finding their grooves this early in the season (see LDT and Steven Jackson), fantasy trends have yet to be developed (Randy Moss going big), and flukes have yet to be flushed out (MJD a bust? Andre Johnson a 1 week wonder?). Talk to me in 3 weeks and I’ll have a more accurate idea of the level of each team.

All of that being said, this week features 2 big time matchups and several other intriguing ones. Let’s take a look.


Matchup of the Week:

TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN v. COWBOYS: After playing Dummy Teams the first two weeks, the COWBOYS get their first test against a real, live, owner. The Dummy Teams have certainly been formidable, but the COWBOYS caught Tomlinson on an off day in addition to getting two HUGE performances from WR’s Edwards and Johnson, en route to their week 2 win. With Johnson out this week and the sheer impossibility of Edwards having a repeat performance, the COWBOYS will be searching for points in other places. Not an enviable task considering Frank Gore is facing off against the always tough to run against Steelers. Not that TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN will faire much better as MJD is facing off against Denver this week and it does not seem likely that he will get untracked on Sunday. If you couple that with Lee Evans benching this week against New England, Steven Jackson will have to breakout of this mini-slump to have a monster game against Tampa Bay. He will, and TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN will squeak out a victory behind Jackson and the strength of its WR’s.


The Shoot ‘em up Matchup:

BIG TUNA v. DUMMY TEAM 3: It’s the highest scoring team in the league against the preseason number one team. For BIG TUNA, Tony Romo and Travis Henry face early season tests against two stout defenses. Colston should have a big day provided the Saints can re-capture a little bit of last year’s magic, and Torry Holt should produce provided Bulger can get passes off behind that rickety offensive line. On the other side, Dummy Team 3 has been waiting all season for LDT to step up and have a big game, and this should be the week. The San Diego line consists of a bunch of maulers who are far to proud to let this continue to go on. At WR, Boldin might struggle against the Ravens, but Steve Smith is a freak of nature and (if they can get anything at all from Ronnie Brown) he and Tomlinson should carry Dummy Team 3 to a victory in a high scoring affair.


The Manning v. Brady Matchup

LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM v. VOLDEMORT: LVL INFINITY got robbed last week, and continues to be very active in the free agent market, making one sound move after another. However, they need to hope that Dunn can finally get something going this week, otherwise big performances from Brady, Harrison, and the Minnesota Defense (and I mean look for a HUGE performance from the D this week against the woeful Chiefs) will go to waste. VOLDEMORT is the quiet 2-0 team. Manning, Wayne and Gates make this team a formidable one, but the outcome of this matchup lies on the not so risky move of inserting RB Williams into the starting lineup. Normally it would be too early in the season to bench your #2 RB, but the Saints haven’t done anything this year, and the Deuce has been hurt by this. Ultimately, I think the gamble will payoff and VOLDEMORT will be the only remaining undefeated team after three weeks, with a close victory that will push LVL INFINTIY + 1 TEAM to an undeserved 0-3.


The “This is the Kind of Game That Makes You Want to Go Home and Beat Your Wife (or in this case husband)” matchup:

DUMMY TEAM 02 v. RILEY’s RAIDERS: The RAIDERS will get a win one of these weeks, it just won’t be this week. Lamont Jordan should have a stellar game, but with most of the other players on this team having tough matchups, it won’t be enough to overcome DUMMY TEAM 02’s running back combo that face off against each other and should rack up a lot of points against their respective porous defenses. Yahoo predicts a blowout. I won’t go that far, because they are giving far too much credence to Vince Young’s potential matchup. Still though, I think it’ll be DUMMY TEAM 02 by 10.


The Beat Down That Might Not Happen matchup:

PINK PONIES v. STEELERS OWN COWBOYS: On paper, one would think this is a potentially ugly matchup. The second highest scoring team in the league vs. second lowest. It should be a beat down of epic proportions. But take a look at some of the matchups that PINK PONIES’ players face this week. LJ will be facing off against the best run defense in the league from a year ago. TO gets the Bears DB’s. Moss gets a Bills team that gives up tons of points, just not many TD’s. And finally, Shockey has an injured QB throwing to him. Oh, the PINK PONIES will still win, but seeing as how STEELERS OWN COWBOYS has the majority of his team facing off against a 49ers defense that can be scored upon, this one at least has the potential to get interesting.



Apologies for the long downtime between posts. School got in the way. Hopefully that will not happen again, and if it looks like it will I will see about having guest posters come in. We shall see. Good Luck to all this week.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Links and Lessons Learned

Some Lessons learned from the first week of fantasy football:

-You can never count a team out if they have a couple of players going on a Monday night game. Pink Ponies scored nearly 40 points on Monday night.

-The 126 points for BIG TUNA was impressive. Tony Romo and the Addai played lights out. Travis Henry looks awfully good in Denver.

-But not that impressive. Its still week 1. I bet this is the only 5 TD game of the season for Romo. I wouldn’t say this team is the front runner just yet, even after outscoring every other team by at least 26 points.

-Not a good week for stud running backs. Sure LDT accounted for two touchdowns (including a passing TD that only counted for 4 points) but he rushed for only 25 yards. Steven Jackson fumbled twice and scored 1 whole fantasy point. Larry Johnson only managed to rack up 8 fantasy points. Ladies and Gentleman, your top 3 picks of the draft.

-I’m surprised there hasn’t been more free agent pickups. After the first round of games, there is usually a mad dash to the free agent pool.

-That being said, LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM has been doing a nice job in bolstering his roster.

-When your team is stacked with players from the same team, you can do really well (see: STEELERS OWN COWBOYS).

-You can vote on who you think will win each match up by clicking on view match up on the right hand side of our league page. It’s a fun feature that more people should partake in.

-It’s a long season, so if you lost big don’t get too down and if you won big, don’t get too up.





Best sports links of the week:


Football is a violent sport, and after Sunday’s injury and possible paralysis to Bills TE Kevin Everett, you can only hope this miracle is true. http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3016159


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nfY1H1fqI4 The Haka as performed by the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team (that is their name, not their racial makeup). If the Bears defense did this before a game, the opposing team just might quit. The best pre-game ritual since John Henderson unleashed this all time classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4cXZGkRMCY


Seattle Sports Blog “Enjoy the Enjoyment” has Ichiro smacking around media that ask him stupid questions. http://www.enjoytheenjoyment.com/2007/09/ichiro-calls-out-nonsense.html


Gus Johnson is the greatest announcer alive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcIvgiNWG1g


Rivalries between teams are what make sports great. But when fans go too far, some really really messed up shit can happen. Warning, this is both brutal and unbelievable to read, for guys especially. http://zachls.blogspot.com/2007/09/dont-wear-texas-gear-in-sooner-country.html


Wait, um, since when were we allowed to say “fuck” on TV? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO1i2e6cySw


James Bond stuff going down in the NFL: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3014677

Monday, September 10, 2007

SUNDAY, BLOODY SUNDAY

A recap of this week in football, fantasy and otherwise


Well, I'm pissed. As most of you know, I am a huge Jacksonville Jaguars fan. I became a fan back in 1996, their second year in existence and I’ve loved them more than any sports team. Since I’ve moved out here to California, I rarely get to watch them on TV anymore, so most Sundays I am forced to listen to their games on the radio. Sitting there, trying to imagine the plays unfold as they are being described by the radio announcer can be a maddening experience at times. You become exhilarated when the announcer raises his voice in a high pitch exclamation in anticipation of a score. And you become disconsolate when your team gives up a big play. I'm always hoping for the best but expecting the worst. When the Jags rip off a big play, I don’t know whether to root for the player to keep on running and breaking tackles, or to just fall down and not fumble. If the defense gets a stop on 3rd down (something that rarely happend during this game) I fully expect there to be a flag thrown.Football is such a beautiful and tortuous game, and I was reminded of this once again this Sunday as the Jags lost to the hated Tennessee Titans. I was overjoyed when David Garrard hit John Broussard with a 47 yard bomb for a TD. Yet, when the Jags gave up the lead, I spent the rest of the game lying on back, eyes shut, trying to will a Jags comeback. But alas, the defense kept getting gashed (where did you go Big John Henderson?) by the Titans running backs who eventually ran out the clock. It was a rough loss, as Jacksonville finally got competent QB play, yet the offensive and defensive lines, the two things that the Jags always could count on every year, let them down. The loss crushed me and its only week one. Listening to them play is such a bitter-sweet experience. I’m looking forward to next week, yet dreading it at the same time.



Now for a recap on fantasy:


VOLDEMORT-100
TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN- 65.

Analysis: It shouldn’t even be this close. If it wasn’t for a monster performance from Plaxico Burress (140+ yards and 3 TD’s…32 fantasy points), TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN would not have even cracked 40 points. When your running backs (including the number 2 pick in the draft) combine for a total of 4 points, you really don’t deserve to win….VOLDEMORT demonstrated the clear cut advantages to having an Indianapolis Colt, or two, on your fantasy team. TE Antonio Gates also contributed with a huge game (16 fantasy points), which allowed VOLDEMORT to overcome mediocre performances from its running backs….Despite all that, if Chad Johnson can duplicate Burress’ performance and add a few more yards, VOLDEMORT could still lose. It’s a long shot, but he’s done it before.


DUMMY TEAM 3- 80
LVL INFINITY + 1 TEAM- 78

This matchup is tantalizingly close. Both team’s QB’s performed better than expected, however LVL INFINITY was let down by its WR corp and running backs. It was bolstered by a surprisingly strong performance by TE Jason Witten who contributed a whopping 17 fantasy points. On the other side, LDT had a horrible game running the ball, yet still managed to throw a touchdown pass and contribute 17 fantasy points. With WR Anquon Boldin yet to play for DUMMY TEAM 3, the only chance LVL INFINITY has to win is if Boldin fumbles the ball a couple of times, or somehow manages to throw an INT. To make matters worse, LVL INFINITY’S RB Brandon Jacobs may be injured, so the team will have to look at putting him on the injured list if necessary. If he is injured, they should definitely not cut him though because he will likely be back later in the year.


COWBOYS-70
DUMMY TEAM TWO- 38

The COWBOYS will likely rack up a lot more points tomorrow night as they have their first round pick, Frank Gore, running the ball tomorrow night. He tore up Arizona last year, and I look for him to do the same again this year. The COWBOYS got inspired performances out of their top two WR’s, whom I ripped in my previews, yet were let down by their QB and defense (which totaled negative 1 fantasy points)….This matchup could still become intriguing though as DUMMY TEAM TWO still has RB Rudi Johnson, and its top two receivers going on Monday Night. If Johnson can keep pace with Gore, it is not out of the realm of possibility that Fitzgerald and Houshmenzedah can close the gap fantasy points wise.


BIG TUNA- 124
PINK PONIES- 59







STEELERS OWN COWBOYS- 82

RILEY'S RAIDERS- 66





Due to technical difficulties (i.e. Yahoo taking down the fantasy points scored today just as I was beginning my writeup of the BIG TUNA/PINK PONIES clash) I was not able to complete a writeup for the last two matchups. Hopefully yahoo will have the points up again soon and I can get the writeups posted. For now, thank you for your patience....

Friday, September 7, 2007

More Expertise, Hot Air, and Know it All Attitude...Plus Some Outstanding Team Logos

Welcome to part two of two of the fantasy preview...



Draft Ideas and Ideals: Everyone, well most everyone, goes into a fantasy draft with certain goals in mind. I for one, am a firm believer in drafting Running backs with the first two picks unless you can pick up Manning somewhere after the 8th pick. The logic behind this is fairly simple: 32 starting running backs and we each have to start two…there are at least 64 starting Wide Receivers, and if a team lines up in a singleback formation with a slot receiver, there is even more. Additionally, running backs are the only players on the field outside of the QB to touch the ball more than 10 times per game, so they inherently have more value than a WR who is a similar level player. Kickers and defenses are crapshoots in my opinion (last year Robbie Gould went undrafted yet led all Kickers in fantasy points) and I always wait until the last two rounds to grab them.

All that being said, there is no right or wrong way to draft. My theory has won me quite a few leagues, but I’ve been beaten by people who employ an entirely different strategy. Some people refuse to draft people they don’t like no matter how great of a value he might represent. I for one had the opportunity to draft Terrell Owens and passed him up. I don’t like the guy, plain and simple. Other times, people draft players based on who they like. We had two teams do that for this league and though I was initially shocked at some of the picks, their teams turned out to be at least decent. Do I think they’ll win it all? No. But they’ll at least have fun rooting for the players they picked.


Steal(s) of the Draft: Runner up goes to Deuce McCallister who drafted in Round 7 by VOLDEMORT. ESPN has The Deuce ranked as their 16th best running back and the 22nd best player overall. His value was depressed somewhat because he shares the carries with Reggie Bush, and lacks the flash that his partner exhibits but that won’t stop him from becoming the workhorse back for an 11 win team. He’ll get the goal line carries and probably score 8 or 9 TD’s. Not bad for a guy who went in the 7th round.

Winner- Chester Taylor, drafted by RILEY’S RAIDERS in the 12th round. Sure he’ll be splitting carries with the other Adrian Peterson, but Peterson has a knack for getting hurt, and until he can prove he can stay healthy Taylor is the only offense Minnesota has got. They’ll pound the rock early and often. ESPN has him ranked as the 26th best RB and 39th overall, a whopping 76 spots higher than where he went in this draft.


Reach of the Draft: Plain and simple, any kicker who was drafted before the rest of a team’s starting lineup was filled.


Deep Sleeper of the Draft: Bo Scaife to RILEY’S RAIDERS. Since we have so many first timers in the league I should probably explain what a sleeper is. A sleeper is a player who not many people know about, or who is going under a lot of people’s radars but has high upside. Clearly, a sleeper can never have had a big season the prior year, but perhaps he showed flashes of skill when given the opportunity. A deep sleeper is someone who is even further under the radar. Bo Scaife fits these qualities perfectly. ESPN shows that he is currently owned in only 8.1% of their leagues. But, if you look at the Titans roster it is pretty clear that Vince Young is lacking in quality weapons around him. The Titans let last year’s top running back and receiver go for no compensation in return. Its safe to say Young will be looking for some familiar faces out there, and what better guy to look for than your 6 foot 3, 250 pound former teammate in college. Big potential here.

The Playoffs: The general thought in fantasy is that it takes skill to make it to the playoffs but only luck to win the whole thing. The reasoning behind this is that the playoffs consist of two head to head matchups in week 15 followed by a final matchup in week 16. Having your whole season determined by how your team does in one week can be a tough pill to swallow, but then again that’s how the NFL season works as well. Additionally, by the end of the season, a lot of teams tend to rest their starters which often leaves fantasy players scrambling to fill roster spots, or hoping that their star player suits up…only to find out he didn’t.



And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Here is a ranking of the teams, as they stand of today, in order from last to first. Do I think they’ll finish this way? Probably not. But I guess you can consider this the worst to best drafts, if nothing else. In coming up with these rankings I looked at ESPN.com’s fantasy projections for each player this year. I added the totals up for each of the starters (with the exception of K and Def) for each of the teams to give myself a good idea of where each team was. I then looked at the benches to figure out if they would make a difference one way or another in the rankings. Most of the time, they did not. Let’s get started:




10. RILEY’S RAIDERS. This team is loaded with darkhorse sleepers and high potential guys. However, you need more than that to be in contention in this league. The strengths here clearly lie in the quarterbacks. Drew Brees is either the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th best QB in the league depending on who you talk to. However, some of RILEY’S RAIDERS roster could be upgraded simply by picking up guys from the free agent pool and dropping the backup kicker and defense. There are some serious players still out there, and if you combine them with a potential stats monster like Drew Brees this team may play the spoiler role for someone before too long.


9. STEELERS OWN COWBOYS. Much like RILEY’S RAIDERS, it was clear from the start that this team valued players the owner liked more than players that would’ve helped the team win. Fantasy Football is about having fun, and if this is the way this team wants to go about it, then who am I to judge? The strength of STEELERS OWN COWBOYS is its Running backs and defense. Chicago will dominate most of the year, Reggie Bush will show flashes of brilliance, and if Clinton Portis can stay healthy he’ll have some big games. This trio, along with Hines Ward, should carry STEELERS OWN COWBOYS to at least a couple of wins.


8. LVL INFINITY + 1. This team’s draft was all over the place. It drafted at top 3 QB at the perfect time, yet reached for a wide receiver in round 1. The two Running backs on the team are both question marks, but in a somewhat good way. At least as good a way as a connotation like that can have. Maroney has the potential to be very good but all indications point to a running back by committee. That doesn’t necessarily mean bad things, but New England has never been known for having stud fantasy RB’s. Jacobs on the other hand was the Giant’s primary goal line back last year. There is no question he can get it done inside the 20’s, but can he produce at midfield? If he can cure his fumble problems, he’ll go along way towards answering those questions. Look, Marvin Harrison and Tom Brady will be great like they are every season, and the RB’s we just talked about; the real problem with this team lies in its remaining Wide Receivers. I’m just not sold on Reggie Brown, and Deion Branch has never lived up to his reputation. This team has an opening on its roster after having dropped a backup Def, and perhaps should look into picking up another Receiver from the free agent pool. Wes Welker comes to mind. It also might not be a bad idea to drop Isaac Bruce and pickup a good solid backup running back who is currently starting somewhere in the NFL. Someone like Warrick Dunn would be an outstanding pickup and could pay huge dividends in the long run.


7. COWBOYS. I know the owner of this team is going to be pissed when he sees his team ranked here. I know I was surprised when I first ran the numbers, but after taking a closer look at this team’s roster, I have to say that this seems to be the right place for them. Let’s start with strength’s first. The true lynchpins of fantasy football are the running backs, and this team has a pair of solid ones. Frank Gore was projected to go as high as 4th in the draft and should have an outstanding season. Brian Westbrook is always a back who flies under the radar but usually ends up having great per game numbers. His health, however, is his Achilles heal, and until he can prove that staying healthy last season was not a fluke, most fantasy owners will never be able to rest easy. Not that COWBOYS will be lacking for a replacement should Westbrook revert back to his ailing ways, as they have three solid running backs sitting on the bench. It is these three bench running backs that are part of the problem with this team though. It seems that the COWBOYS were intent on grabbing value with every pick in the draft, which is a strategy that is usually commendable. However, no matter how great a value some of those running backs represented in later round, those picks might have been better spent grabbing better wide receivers. Andre Johnson is a reach as a number one receiver even with new QB Matt Schaub in Houston. Laverneous Coles has only scored a total of 12 touchdowns in the last three years, and Braylon Edwards is an up and down type player with absolute crap throwing him the ball at QB. Jason Elam, Tony Gonzalez (who will struggle more than people realize now that he has to stay in and block more thanks to an aging O-line), and Donovan McNabb were undoubtedly solid pickups, but unless one or two of those running backs can be moved for a true number one receiver, this team will have a roller coaster season. A recipe for the playoffs it is not.


6. BIG TUNA. Another team that I thought did better in the draft until I looked at it closely. The strength of BIGTUNA is all about the Wide Receivers. You could make an argument for all 3 of the starters as number 1 options. Torry Holt is always good for a big year, Colsten is out to prove that last year was no fluke, and Walker had a teammate die in his arms over the summer; he’ll be motivated and focused this season. People forget that just 3 seasons ago he had 89 catches for 1382 yards and 12 Touchdowns. Joseph Addai has also been a trendy draft pick as of late and has been going as high as 3rd in some drafts. He’ll be carrying the load for the Colts for the first time in his career and that leaves quite a few pundits expecting Edgerrin James circa 2000 type numbers. I don’t know if I’ll go that far, but he should have a very good year. Travis Henry at RB-2 is a talented back playing for a team that makes even mediocre backs look good. If Henry can stay healthy he should have a very nice season in Denver….I said it in my draft write up but I’ll say it again, Todd Heap will catch more touch downs that Gonzalez this year at TE….Despite all these strengths, there is one glaring weakness on this team: The QB position. This will be the first time in Tony Romo’s career that he will be the full-time starter entering the season. No one is quite sure how he’ll handle this, or how he’ll get over the botched hold on the field goal in last year’s playoffs. Dallas isn’t sold on him yet either, as they have not offered him a contract beyond this year….backing up Tony Romo is the snitch Matt Leinart. He’ll be playing in a nice offense this year with a couple of big time receivers, but he’s a sell out and its hard to imagine his teammates rallying around him. Perhaps he’ll have a good year, but he’s even more of a question mark than Romo. This team is better than the COWBOYS, but not by much.


5. DUMMY TEAM 2. Your classic middle of the road auto-drafted team. Solid at every position but a questionable bench. No one owns this team so I won’t say too much about them except this: the running backs on this team are both very solid and they have an underrated set of wideouts. If Alexander is all the way back from his injury and two of the three WR have breakout years, this team will move up in the standings. They do, however, have Vince Young; he of he Madden Curse. That will be with them, wreaking havoc on their season all year long and causing them to just miss the playoffs.











4. PINK PONIES. The absolute biggest surprise after I ran all the numbers. The owner at times seemed lost during the draft, yet here her team is, in the top 4. This shows you the power of having a top 3 pick in Fantasy Football. I initially had the PINK PONIES in the top 3, but the primary reason this team is so highly ranked is because of Larry Johnson. The more and more I thought about it, the less comfortable I felt with placing a team relying heavily on LJ in the top 3. History has shown time and time again that a running back who racked up more than 370 “touches” in his previous season has a higher risk of some kind of catastrophic injury or awful season the following year. Let’s run down the list, shall we: 2003 Jamal Lewis carries the ball 387 times, gains 2077 yards and scores 14 TD’s. The next year, he gets hurt, plays in 12 games, carries the ball 235 times for about a thousand yards and scores only half as many touchdowns; Eddie George in 2000 carried the ball 407 times and had a monster year, the next year he didn’t even crack a thousand yards; Edgerrin James had 400 plus touches in 2000 and the next year blew out his knew and played in only 6 games; 2004 Priest Holmes, a consensus top 5 pick every year in fantasy; missed half the season with an injury after getting 394 touches the year before. The list goes on and on. Surely there have been exceptions, but LJ had a whopping 457 touches last year and a pretty significant 360 + the year before. This year he is missing both Willie Roaf and Will Shields (two hall of fame offensive lineman who retired) which means Tony Gonzalez has to stay in and block, limiting his effectiveness as receiver (and eliminating him as a threat for the defense). Oh KC has two GOD-AWFUL choices at QB (the immortal Brodie Croyle and Damon Huard). The Chiefs traded Dante Hall in the offseason, and their top wide receiver retired during the middle of a season three years ago, only to come back that same season to a different team. A true winner. With defenses not fearing any passing game, it’ll be interesting to see how LJ fares against 8 and 9 man fronts…..The rest of PINK PONIES is well put together. Carson Palmer is the surefire number 2 QB in the league. Benson should be a good, respectable number 2 back even if most of his teammates don’t really like him. Shockey will have a good year as usual. The potential at WR with Moss, Owens, and Jackson is absolutely ridiculous. And the defense is one of the 2 or 3 that you can start every week with no worries and with the very good chance that it will actually win you some games. IF LJ can stay healthy there is no doubt that this team will be very, very good.

3. VOLDEMORT. This is about where I expected them to finish up after the draft. This team might’ve had the best first and second round combinations in the draft. Manning is already proving his worth, and there are some people saying Willie Parker will top 2000 yards. Granted, those people are in the minority, but any time those words are being discussed anywhere, you know you have arrived. Fast Willie will be a borderline top 5 back this year. Deuce McCallister, as I have said before, was an inspired choice that late in the draft. He’ll have a good year and should be a solid number 2 back all season long. Throw Antonio Gates into the mix and you have the makings of a monster team, with two players the clear cut number one at their position in the entire league and another in the top 7 at the lowest. So what’s the downfall? There is precious little depth at wide receiver after Reggie Wayne. Wayne is clearly a true number 1 this year, and by having Manning on the team as well, every time Wayne scores on a TD pass it’ll be like getting double the points. However, the opposite is also true. If Manning does not have a big game, neither will Wayne. Santana Moss is an enigma, and so is the QB who will be throwing him the ball in Washington. Calvin Johnson is even more of an unknown. Not since Randy Moss, and maybe Michael Clayton, has a highly touted rookie receiver had any impact whatsoever in fantasy (please note that Marques Colston was not highly touted—he was a 7th round pick). VOLDEMORT has an outstanding backup QB who he could maybe peddle to BIGTUNA for some help at receiver. All in all, where this team’s strengths lie is in the sheer greatness of its best players. That star power alone should be enough to carry VOLDEMORT to the playoffs, and once there, anything can happen. Bonus points for picking Big John Henderson and the Jacksonville D—a must start against Tennessee.


2. TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN. This team was able to overcome a stupidly handled turn between the 2nd and third rounds where it could’ve obtained Steve Smith as well as Maurice Jones-Drew, instead of the Chad Johnson/Jones-Drew combo that it ended up with. Still though, not a bad consolation prize. This is perhaps the most well-rounded of all the teams in the draft. The QB is one of the 6 top tier QB’s in the league. Steven Jackson actually had more total yards from scrimmage last year than LaDanian Tomlinson. Maurice Jones-Drew is a homerun threat playing behind a ferocious offensive line in Jacksonville. Lee Evans is a borderline number 1 receiver and Plaxico Burress is a borderline number 2 receiver. Evans caught the most deep passes of any receiver last year as the only threat in Buffalo, and Burres is a TD catching machine and Eli’s saftely blanket. They will be filling the WR2 and WR3 roles, respectively. Crumpler is bit of a mystery with Vick out, but thanks to having a QB who will actually stay in the pocket this year, he should get more passes thrown his way on the goal line. TRIPLE T’S PAINTRAIN built its bench exactly the way you would want to in fantasy football. There is a good mixture of solid vets who you can count on (Joey Galloway, L.J. Smith, and The Edge) and high upside young players (Vincent Jackson, Brandon Jackson, and J.P Losman) who could end up in the top 10 at their positions if everything breaks just right. As the clear cut veteran in this league, there is little doubt that I would’ve ended up this high, but to get beaten by the computer is quite a bit sobering.



1. DUMMY TEAM 03. The epitome of a perfect draft, at least with respect to starters. Of course, anyone who can draft LT is way ahead of the game already. However, this team also ended up with the top WR as well. The top two players at the two most premium of positions makes DUMMY TEAM 03 a bitch of a team to deal with. The rest of its team is pretty damn good as well. Ronnie Brown played well in stretches last year and now has LT’s offensive coordinator from last year as his coach. John Kitna is playing for a coach who turned former grocery bagger and arena leaguer, Kurt Warner, into a star, surely after two years of tutelage under Mike Martz John Kitna can excel as well (even if he does play for the Lions). WR Roy Williams plays in that offense as well and is a true number 1 receiver filling the number 2 role for DUMMY TEAM 03. Almost every team in this league would like to have Anquon Boldin as its number two receiver, yet this team has him slotted to be their number 3. Chris Cooley has averaged more than 6 TD catches per year the last three years, a phenomenal number for a TE. The only suspect thing about this team is its lack of a deep bench. Should a starter go down, it could blow this competition wide open.